A Truth Hard Learned

I’ve been coming back to a thought a lot lately so much so that I felt compelled to write about it. Maybe it’s obvious to most people, but the reality is, no one will “take care of you,” you have to take care of yourself. I guess this applies to regularly functioning adults, more so than the disabled or the young or the old, but for the rest of us it seems easy to forget that we are responsible for our own well being. Of course, there will be outside circumstances that are out of our control, but we have to be in charge of our lives as best we can. We have to be the “boss” of those parts that we can change.

I think it’s taken me a long time to realize that I can’t look to other people for fulfillment or validation. I can’t wait for people to anticipate my needs, wants, desires, and anxieties. I need to take the reigns and lead myself in the direction I want to go. Something I see on social media a lot geared towards mothers is the need to prioritize ourselves. Although it sort of makes me cringe, I do think it’s true. As moms we get frustrated that our needs aren’t being met, but we expect others to recognize them and provide them for us, when others actually are just thinking about their own needs.

Self care is not a challenge for some people, from what I have observed. For those of us that are “helping” types by nature, it can be a struggle. For me, I think it’s been a big wake up call. I realized that I haven’t found much joy or excitement in a long time. It’s normal to go through periods of boredom or monotony, but I’m talking ten years. It’s easy to blame your life situation or other people “keeping you from enjoying yourself.” That could be partially true, but mostly it’s that somewhere along the way, you stoped prioritizing yourself. Your wants and needs come behind everyone else’s. It’s a sorry place to be. I think the first step in moving beyond this state is to accept that you are responsible. You can’t trivialize what you like and what you want. YOU are just as important as your spouse, your siblings, your children, your neighbor, your parents, etc.

I’m still very much in the beginning stages of this journey, but I think it’s worth while to begin. We never know what tomorrow will bring, so we have to begin loving ourselves today.