You can’t have it all at once

There is a lot of truth to the phrase, “you can have it all, but not all at once.” I try to remind myself of it (though I don’t believe anyone can have it all in one lifetime) often. It’s especially helpful for me when thinking about career and work life, which I have been put on the back burner for the past 6 years since I’ve been home with my children. I am torn between regret for not having started a career and relief that I didn’t have one already that would have potentially taken my time away from my kids.

I know women who have jobs and kids and women who have no job and kids. We are all busy, have stress, and work hard. Still, it’s hard to not feel jealous of women who seem to “have it all.” A very full life is something to aspire to, I think. That being said, we are each capable of different things and I think have more or less of an ability to stretch ourselves thin. Personally, I don’t think I can give focus to too many projects or people at once. I do better when I focus on quality over quantity. But some people are better at each role or relationship when they have many. I’ve heard that women who work and have kids sometimes feel more able to give their kids their full attention when they’re with them because they aren’t drained from childcare. I totally get this. I have had very little time away from my kids since I had my son six years ago and it’s really taken over my identity and life.

It seems to me that our society expects us to devote ourselves to our kids but as soon as they are mature enough, to get right back out there and contribute meaningfully to the outside world too. I hope I can bounce back to *working woman* after my boys are in school. Recently, I’ve been trying to put on more professional attire when out and about but more often than not, I find myself in leggings or sweatpants. Often, I don’t even realize it until I’m already at the store and glance down and realize I haven’t changed!

I hope that this phase will be remembered fondly and at the same time I’m looking forward to more time for myself and to put together a proper outfit!